It seems that drama is in the air. Mind you, not the kind of cat fight hissy fit drama we see in all sorts of chick flicks. In fact, this sort of drama doesn’t involve females at all! Seattle Salseras seem to have been getting along just fine for a very long time now. (At least for as long as I’ve been dancing.) But in a recent discussion amongst us sisters, we have discovered that the salsa scene in Seattle is full of Drama Kings! In the past couple weeks I’ve experienced scenarios where leads would confront me for not saying hello to them (not deliberately!) or refusing a dance (new dance shoes people! They’re hurting the crap out of my feet!) Finding out that it wasn’t just me who was dealing with such issues from the leads was comforting. Fellow follows have shared similar stories, when a lead would either snap at them for saying they’ve already promised a dance to someone else or accuse them of “acting distant” when no intention of such behavior was on her mind. And I wonder if it’s because of insecurities that this is happening out on the dance floor.
So for all the leads out there who’ve felt insecure on the dance floor and let it out by lashing out at a follow who fed that insecurity, please keep the following in mind and restrain from creating an uncomfortable situation on the dance floor next time:
1. Problem: She didn’t say hi to you.
Solution: Come up and say hello to her yourself! If she responds with an enthusiastic hug, chances are she simply didn’t see you amongst dozens of people she passed on her way to where she usually stands. Although we really do try to get to everyone we know as soon as we get into a venue, sometimes it’s either logistically impossible (after all, we came to dance, and saying hi to the 200 people we know individually might take up a little longer than we planned on staying at a venue), or uncomfortable (you are standing with another girl and we don’t want to intrude.) However, if she responds with a cold “hi” and turns right back around… Leave her alone. For good.
2. Problem: She refused to dance with you.
Solution: Was this the first time she did this? If you two are known for having amazing dances together, and she gave a legitimate explanation like her feet hurt or she promised this dance to someone else, believe her and let it go! And play it by ear for the next dance. If she said her feet hurt, the next one is most likely going to be a “no” as well, and it has nothing to do with you! But if she continuously keeps refusing you on different nights, get the hint and stop asking!
3. Problem: She asked you not to do a certain move.
Solution: Respect her wishes and DON’T DO IT! Oh how many embarrassing moments on the floor for both myself and the lead could’ve been prevented if only the leads I’ve danced with believed me when I said that I am not familiar with or capable of following certain moves… Of course that’s only one of the reasons she might not want to bend over backwards. Another one might be that she’s not comfortable enough to be at a particular level of closeness with you that the move requires. Certain moves are NOT just dancing and ARE reserved only for those leads who are close friends. So if you’ve just seen her dance a steamy bachata, don’t assume she’ll be up for the same kind of dancing with you. The third reason might actually be medical. You don’t know if she has a huge bruise on her ankle, a disorientation disorder or a knot in her back. Don’t spin or dip if she’s asked you not to.
I’d also like to address the semi-tipsy eager-to-help onlookers who find themselves ready to jump into the already uncomfortable conversation and take a side. Please DON’T. This is already uncomfortable as is. And chances are that at least one of the people involved has all the social skills necessary to de-escalate. What you are doing is simply annoying them and adding another factor for them to deal with. You’re also feeding the disdain that the offended party already feels. To sum up: you’re just adding to the drama, not helping. Do everyone a favor and stay out of it! Please.
Disclaimer: this post is based on more than one scenario involving more than one follow! If you recognize yourself, it might be a coincidence. Please don’t assume that I wrote this because I was mad/annoyed with you in particular. I actually had a couple requests for this post, and that’s the only reason it has now been written.
Happy Dancing!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Habana Sodo E-Mayimbe Opening Night
After being out four nights in a row, I had every intention of staying in on Saturday night. Until my roommate cheerfully asked if I'm going to E-Mayimbe's opening night party at Habana Sodo. At which point curiosity got the best of me and I decided that even shelling out $10 for cover might be worth it to find out how it's gonna go. After all, the hype around it on facebook projected that every self-respecting salsa dancer in Seattle will end up being there.
Habana Sodo didn't disappoint. Even though we got there relatively early for Salsa (10:30), the place was already going strong. Within the next hour and a half a solid injection of people created a crowd the size of Century at it's busiest point on a Saturday. It was curious to see how familiar faces tried to orient themselves and figure out where to dance. Like ants whose house has been destroyed, people moved around more than usual, just because "their" spot to stand hasn't quite been established yet. (By the end of the night the "corners" have become more or less apparent though.)
Hearing before hand that the floor is cement, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it's cement with lacquer over it that was relatively easy to spin on. The live music was incredible. (Unfortunately the sound system didn't stand a chance in comparison... But the DJ's were fine.)
Entertaining performances in the middle of the night gave tired feet a much welcomed break. But perhaps the best part about the night was the atmosphere.
It felt like a very good New Years eve party. As if on cue, dancers came more dressed up than usual. The lighting was amazing and the vibe was exhilaratingly friendly. That, combined with a crowd that drew out literally every single studio in town, made the party an epitome of the fact that it's possible to make something grand happen when all combine forces instead of feeding unhealthy competition.
Kudos to Ana and Eduardo for creating a night which Seattle will not forget for a while. Hopefully many more Saturdays like this in Habana Sodo will follow!
Habana Sodo didn't disappoint. Even though we got there relatively early for Salsa (10:30), the place was already going strong. Within the next hour and a half a solid injection of people created a crowd the size of Century at it's busiest point on a Saturday. It was curious to see how familiar faces tried to orient themselves and figure out where to dance. Like ants whose house has been destroyed, people moved around more than usual, just because "their" spot to stand hasn't quite been established yet. (By the end of the night the "corners" have become more or less apparent though.)
Hearing before hand that the floor is cement, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it's cement with lacquer over it that was relatively easy to spin on. The live music was incredible. (Unfortunately the sound system didn't stand a chance in comparison... But the DJ's were fine.)
Entertaining performances in the middle of the night gave tired feet a much welcomed break. But perhaps the best part about the night was the atmosphere.
It felt like a very good New Years eve party. As if on cue, dancers came more dressed up than usual. The lighting was amazing and the vibe was exhilaratingly friendly. That, combined with a crowd that drew out literally every single studio in town, made the party an epitome of the fact that it's possible to make something grand happen when all combine forces instead of feeding unhealthy competition.
Kudos to Ana and Eduardo for creating a night which Seattle will not forget for a while. Hopefully many more Saturdays like this in Habana Sodo will follow!
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