Things That Make Follows Cry

One week of 5 hours of sleep/night + one day of 4 hours of sleep + 22 hours up + 2 bad dances = DISASTER. This I learned when a recent incident on the floor made me storm out of Century in tears, scaring the heck out of all my friends and making one very considerate lead (thank you!) run after me worried that I will hurt myself driving in that condition. (Note to all: I calm down within seconds of a tantrum and never really lose the clarity of mind, no matter how much it appears not to be so.) I blame lack of sleep, of course, but my behavior made me quite embarrassed the next day. Until a heart-to-heart with some more follows revealed that I am not the first person to shed a few because of something seemingly insignificant. So what kinds of things make showers of salty water come out of our eyes? Here are a few examples, starting with my own:

During a wonderful night spent twirling around with guys who are "professional social dancers," (coined by: Andre) nothing foretold the unthinkable. One of the so many time mentioned creeps found me one dance before last. Why did I say "yes?" Because I feel bad. The man was kind enough to dance with me when I was a beginner. And I am suspecting that his creepiness doesn't come out of perversion, but rather out of severe lack of social skill and self-confidence. That, however, doesn't make dancing with him any more pleasant. So after enduring the awkwardness for an entire song, I was looking forward to completing the night with a good last dance. But it was not to be.

My venting to a friend apparently took a little longer than it should have, because the next thing I knew, all the wonderful familiar leads were partnered up with equally wonderful familiar follows, which left me sitting on stage, wallowing in the thought that my last dance of the night was with the aforementioned creepster. Of course my isolation, unprotected by any friendly bodies to serve as a barrier between me and disaster (as I already mentioned, they were all on the floor by then), immediately attracted more predators. My state of mind, of course, welcomed a chance to remedy the previous shock, so I took a bargain, and accepted a dance from a decent-looking lead that I've never seen before, hoping that the last song wouldn't be as disastrous as the one before. But once again, it was not to be.

Unfortunately, out on the floor, decent looks do nothing for a man that doesn't know how to count till 8. Even worse is a man who THINKS he knows how to count. And I'm not trying to be rude here. It's just that if a lead switches the beat once in a while we can catch on. If he switches consistently we don't really know what to do, because we are not mind-readers. We've been taught that our only job in a dance is to move our feet in the rhythm of quick-quick-slow, and wait for directions about where exactly to move them. If you take the quick-quick-slow from us, there's pretty much nothing left. This guy took it all. Not only was I unable to pick up ANY rhythmical pattern in his dance, but he was also not considerate enough to look around. Thus, I was embarrassingly thrown into a happy couple dancing behind us. Three times. Even more mortifying was the fact that they actually moved from their signature spot (unthinkable!) to avoid any further trauma from happening. Additionally, I was stepped on, bruised with thumbs of iron clinging to my wrists with a force of a bulldozer, and twisted in unthinkable ways not found in any recorded moves of the dance of salsa.

One of my girls had a similar situation when she first started dancing in Seattle. Apparently, a creep not found on the floor any longer (and I hope he is banned from Salsa for life!) proceeded to lick her in the ear during a dance. F.Y.I.: in case you've ever been tempted to do so, it's considered inappropriate behavior on the floor. In her own words of what she did after: "I probably went somewhere to cry." Another follow had a breakdown when after a night of unfortunate events a lead who agreed to dance the "next song" with her magically ended up on the floor with other follows for the rest of the night. The stories are probably endless, and my examples too few... But at least I know that I'm not a complete idiot for overreacting to some things after a week of no sleep.

Now, what can be done to make sure that no follow ever leaves the dance floor unhappy or with tears in her eyes? Nothing. Hehe. Unfortunately a teary explosion doesn't really depend on leads, (or follows for that matter). It depends on her emotional state of mind at that moment and just how much she can take with a laugh. But a few important steps from both sides can help tremendously! Follows: eat your food and get your sleep. A balanced state of mind will prevent you from getting emotional in situations outside your control. Leads: Learn how to count. And if you happen to notice that your friend follow just had a horrible dance/rejection, seriously consider rescuing her for the next song. Make sure she NEVER ends up alone on stage! Friends: Watch out for each other. It's easy to get carried away in the rush of a good night. (I, myself, am guilty as charged!) But it's not worth it if a friend is in tears at the end of it.

Once again, I'd like to thank all my wonderful friends who called, left messages, and ran after me that night. Moreover, I'd like to recognize those who consistently protect me from being invited for a "dance of a lifetime:" Carlette, Julia, Anna, Alex, and Joshua -- thanks for being so perceptive and caring!